PREVIOUSLY ON TV.MSNBC.COM:

Like a washed-up conch, MSNBC sounds the waves of justice, without actually providing any perceivable sea of change. They are the white noise for a black house disguised in grey. They are a forest of green energy, fueling the fiery flames of redistributive justice and global warming hysteria.

In other words, MSNBC is a Brookstone Sleep Sound Generator.

I can’t tell whether Fallon was kidding here or not when he demands everyone turn off their lights, that is, as he hypocritically has 100 spotlights blasting him in the background. Then again, I can’t tell if global warming is a fucking joke either.

If he was kidding, then fine. But maybe NBC should fill us in on the joke before our electricity bills skyrocket through the roof and into the houseboats of Immelt, Olbermann, and Laden.

And if America was not supposed to “get the joke,” it just shows how the same disingenuous hacks robbing us in broad daylight are laughing in our faces as they do it.

Lets pass this video around.

Of all the late night hosts, you would expect more Obama jokes from Kimmel. Barack has done Leno and Letterman multiple times, while failing to appear on Jimmy Kimmel Live even once.

So, what Kimmel really proves is how dating a mantran like Sarah Silverman isn’t the only way to confess to America that you enjoy being bitch in the relationship, that is, the one that exists between the liberal establishment and it’s Hollywood sheep.

Kimmel’s conservative jokes are in essence a fat girls ice cream tub – something to be shoveled down the throat in a perpetual quest to fill the emotional donut hole caused by a husky lover status. Challenging conservative assumptions is always bold move in Hollywood, with exception to the times it’s exactly what every mansion in Malibu expects you to do. Which is always. Which then makes the banal bravado in reality the cowardly opposite, supplying the insecurity that demands the reassuring approval of every like-minded ben-and-jerry dogma that Kimmel surrounds himself with. It truly gives new meaning to self-fufilling prophecy.

The White House’s fear of the the Sean Penn-lefty image is the likely reason Obama strays from JKL, a harsh reminder to Hollywood elites that America still rejects them despite their common love for both a presidential candidate and the shitty movies they create.

Don’t get me wrong, the last 8 years of Bush’s stupidity justified a cause for the constant late night laugh-a-palooza assault on the right. Issues like Prop-8 justified the cause for defeating conservatives. But what cowardice like Kimmel’s does is show that bashing republicans was never truly a cause, but rather an effect – resulting not from conservative stupidity, but liberal insecurity.

It’s reminiscent of the girl who continually brings up the hated ex-boyfriend that dumped her only days after making the varsity squad. She hopes that her relevance by association will be enough to get the parole officer to see beyond her cold sores.

But in the end, the only courageous move Kimmel has left is to swap his role as receiver to giver. It’s change America can get behind.

So Leno actually did some decent material the other night. Im surprised the Chris Matthews Wallace bit hasn’t got more play on MSNBC. Leno uses FNC alot, but I never hear him mock MSNBC. While Olbermann may be a joke in himself, I can only imagine the moral outrage spewed from bed-wetting bloggers that would fail to moveon.com from a light jab at the failing news network. Considering that Rupert Murdoch, the ‘closed minded conservative,’ just gave Wanda ‘lets kill Rushbo’ Sykes a comedy show on Fox, makes the glaring double standard even more hypocritical. But then again, I’m sure CEO-bama would take no issue signing a Dennis Miller variety program in to law at NBC.

So I was fortunate enough to attend the Yankee World Series Game 1 against the Phillies. Michelle Obama and Jill Biden were there pushing “Welcome Back Veterans,” which I suspected was another 3-word PR scheme to reposition the Obama brand – as if a presidential approval rating below 50% triggered a need for Americans to forget the whole “downright mean country” episode last year.

Boss will have to rewrite that one. But hey, if “Welcome Back Veterans” benefits some army bro with no legs, Ill give Michelle’s intentions the benefit of the doubt. Just too bad the rest of Yankee Stadium didn’t want to. Then again, Obama’s followers probably aren’t the ones who can afford game 1 at the World Series. I kinda wish every kid could see a World Series game at Yankees Stadium. Maybe thats what Barack means by ‘social justice.’

Glad to see that NBC is trying xtra hard to not piss off middle America. Conan must be disappointed that his network’s solution to zero ratings is ‘take rabies to the park and let it off the leash.’ Its crazy how K-Griff can challenge audiences assumptions without even using jokes- I never would of guessed that I would rethink my stance on abortion so much after a silly vh1 star says “I felt a kick.”  And silly me always thought that population control was 100% unamerican, that is, until I thought about the spawn of Kathy Griffin and Levi Johnston.

Its weird though, because I usually enjoy watching people who ‘don’t give a damn.’  I’m kinda thinkin Kathy Griffin cares what ppl think. Mainly because her face moves like a dinosaur from the first Jurassic Park. Maybe that helps in Hwood. I think self-deprecation doesnt work when its used to cover up insecurity that actually exists. Kinda like how adding LOL to the end of “I have herpes” doesn’t make it ‘just a fucking joke.’ Oh I wish it did though.